hello.
a thursday mid afternoon with rain pouring outside. seems like a good day to write an entry. just came back from reservice at taiwan not too long ago. the trip was more of a nice 3 weeks of solitary reflection for me, if you exempt that rocky night where the ship sways side to side under the influence of the angry sea (i almost puked)

i made a new friend and discovered a little more about life. he is a pleasant buddhist boy that has very deep insights about his faith. listening to him speak about his ideas of life and watching him having compassion for stray taiwanese dogs is really refreshing. there was one night where we were kinda late for booking in back to camp. it was 15mins more before the bus left and we were scurrying to buy our last minute bubble tea and ji-pa to chow down back onboard ship. each of us got a pudding milk tea and agreed to share a packet of chicken. he bought 2 packets instead. "huh who is that for? are you that hungry? the steamboat was mad and you still have space in your tummy? what happened to your ideas about dieting?" "its not for me," he replied and then he asked me to follow him. we cross the road and walked into this alley. apparently, he was looking for the stray dog we saw earlier in the morning near the clinic. the dog was old and lost most of his fur. according to buddhist boy, he says the dog has a lot of suffering and he wants to ease its suffering. hence, the piping hot chicken packet. so there we were running around the alleys of taiwan, searching for this missing dog. and we were going to be late. that didn't matter to bb, he is always in his own world anyway. in the process, he almost stepped on dog poo. i shut my eyes and said a prayer "oh Jesus please no." and true enough, poo was still there. bb has missed it by 0.5cm. the ending of this story? we didn't find the dog. i managed to convince him to leave the packet by the poo. in the back of my head expecting to see a very surprised (happy) dog when it went back to pee by its poo.

i guess moving out of our social circles is healthy. i think i have gotten so used to my company that i have been sheltered from most things in life. my long chats with bb has showed me the many similarities that our individual faiths have and so much i too have to learn from him. he is so devoted and compassionate for others it makes me ashamed.

i have been going on dream journeys quite a lot as well. my navy colleagues would always catch me staring into space and ask me if i was okay or angry or drunk. i would tell them that i was just daydreaming and they would give me this strange look. i think singaporeans have gone too accustomed to be doing something 24/7 that we forget to stop and reflect on ourselves. wake up, brush teeth, late for appointment, mrt, reply messages, forgot this, remember that… and each day passes by without us knowing. and in the twinkling of an eye, you are 24… a year close to 25. gees. it always makes me a little nervous knowing i am turning 30 soon. haha i will then reply that thought with my usual questionings of career, family and love. and then followed by another reply that i am too familiar with: my God is in control.

so where do you see yourself in 10 years? haha my favorite question to strangers right now. i think for myself… hopefully dead. kidding. i think maybe happy. having my own home - a one room apartment, still got my mondays free, occasionally enjoying summer lunches with one or two friends at nice cafes, driving, sitting on bedside strumming on guitars (with improved skill) at night, traveled to greece, iceland and japan, a photo shrine on the wall plastered with family pictures and good times, and of course a coffee machine. i can go into detail about how i want my house to be like… i think that is the most workable for me now. maybe in 2 years when i get back from missions. i can only pray and work towards that.

very very excited for my next 2010 landmark. right after the 2010 church camp landmark. well its more of a datemark than a landmark. up to this post, i am 87 days shy from my eurotrip experience. haha sometimes i wonder what will happen to me once this trip is over. i have been counting down since… last year i think. i remember when my dashboard widget read 189 days. haha hurray! maybe i will plan for another trip to iceland. any takers for a serene cold place that gave birth to sigur ros? :D

wow i wrote so much. im happy this went well. maybe i will update another day soon. the weather is just perfect when it is not crazy blazing and sunny.

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i will see You there
at the place where i first met You
the place where we watched
the night dissolve to morning –
where You turned my broken dreams to gold

i will wait for You there
far from the world and their violence
far from people and their selfish requirements
in wings i am sheltered from the babel
and in the silence i can now hear Your voice

i will wait for You there
singing Hallelujahs to smother the gloom of night
life is a war fought with tears
and fear has been our familiar medicine
i am patient because i know Your return is soon

i am sleeping with an eye open
i am waiting for You